Martha Stewart, I am SO mad at you right now.

First, I sent you that letter shortly after you arrived in prison.

No response. Not even a freakin’ publicity postcard.

And now, I get myself into a private, one-on-one meeting with the Burnet Productions casting guy, and I don’t get the call about being an apprentice on your upcoming reality TV show. How could you?!

I considered canceling my subscription to Everyday Foods (you remember, the one I purchased in an effort to show you my solidarity as we’re both women in magazine publishing). But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I guess I’m just not that vengeful.

But I am still mad at you for not giving me the chance to be your apprentice.